My friend Raoul is what even I would call a gym-freak. He’s in there every day, sometimes twice a day. His diet is meticulously planned: the attention to detail is stunning.
His body looks great. He can lift heavy weights and is seemingly in great shape.
And yet something is missing – something key, if not crucial, to his health and his happiness.
The Unloving Mistake
The 2nd Mighty Mistake that many of us make is developing an attitude that is far from loving.
This mistake is very much related to Mighty Mistake #1: if you focus on building your self-image rather than your self-esteem, you may develop the outside appearance of health and happiness, but inside it’ll be far from rosy.
A few years after I had started training properly, I looked good, had a great body shape and seemed pretty healthy.
But few people knew what was happening beneath the surface, on the inside: blame, self-judgment, worry, fear – to name but a few!
I hated myself. I hated my body. I hated my life.
And that, my friend, had a bigger impact on my health than all the good work I put in at the gym.
You see, you could exercise every day and have a perfect diet, but the way you think about yourself is more damaging to your health than food or movement.
To understand more about how that works, check out this article.
How It Manifests
I see people with unloving attitudes every single day at the gym: from the buff guy with the angry eyes to the treadmill bunny with the attitude. Sweating, lifting and panting on an endless race to feel better about their lives.
You can tell who doesn’t love themselves: they are usually the rudest and angriest, or the most body-obsessed around. As they say: the ones hardest to love are generally the ones that need it the most.
This unloving attitude can come from many deeply-held beliefs about yourself (“I’m not good enough”), your body (“I need to be perfect”), or your life (“I can’t trust the world”).
The truth is, you’ll find that the beliefs about yourself are the same ones that affect how you see your body and the world.
And if you follow them to their source, you’ll discover the eternal whisper of the I suck syndrome in the background.
The more power you give to this damning disease (by believing it to be true), the more prone you are to developing an unloving attitude.
And as a result, getting ill, sick, depressed, angry or terminally unhappy.
How To Develop A Loving Attitude
To truly change your mindset, focus on three areas:
- Your relationship with yourself and your body
- Your relationship with your life
- Your relationship with others and the world
Objectively look at your current reality: what your current beliefs, thoughts and feelings are.
Then bring to mind a clear vision of what you would love to create instead: a loving, positive, forgiving, accepting and grateful relationship with yourself and your body. And keep a laser-like focus on this vision, day-in and day-out.
Take time each day to practise building acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude and love towards yourself. Recognise when you treat yourself with anything other than kindness and compassion, and gently refocus on what you are looking to achieve.
Developing a loving attitude is a workout on its own: the inner workout that will transform your health and your happiness.
Do the reps, be consistent, and experience the change.
Write down 7-10 things about yourself that you wish to accept, starting each statement with “I accept…”. Repeat with “I forgive myself…”, “I am grateful for my…” and “I love…”. Then leave a comment below with what you experienced.
And as always, please LIKE and SHARE this post with those around you!
More from Will Pike at www.willpike.co.uk