“Talking to your best friend is sometimes all the therapy you need.” ~ Unknown
A quiet realisation
Each and every day of my life (yes, I’m a little shame to say it), I check Facebook. I really do enjoy reading things that uplift me, things that make me laugh, and of course, seeing the new things happening in the lives of the people all around me. One day, while scrolling through my News Feed, I noticed a post that someone whom I used to be so close to had written. It was a strange moment, seeing this information in the public domain, instead of hearing from the source itself. I thought back on the years of the past, when we were once so close that we shared everything with each other; who our crush was, what we were going to wear to the party, you know, all that that stuff that makes up close friendships. I wondered how we had drifted so far apart and how much time had passed since last we spoke. But in that moment I was at peace with it all. I realised that we were not, “not friends” anymore, we were just at different stages in our life, and our beliefs, goals and ambitions were just in different places, and that was OK. Deep inside I truly felt that anytime she needed me, for whatever reason, I would be there, and I feel almost certain she would be there for me too.
Being grateful for friendship
All of this got me thinking about my current group of friends, the ones I am so very blessed to have. I am not joking; I do thank God every day for these people. Yes I am close to my family, but friendships are just something different. I mean, you don’t call home to talk about your sexual frustration or your most recent buss ass while trying to play hot gyal in front of a sexy man.
When I think about the amount of randomness I call and write to my friends about, it is remarkable they are still in my life. I admit my communication skills are not the best; it takes patience to deal with me, someone who takes about two hours to reply to a text message, or always ends a conversation abruptly with, “I’ll call you back,” which I am embarrassed to say does not always happen; and worst of all, my problem with being on time. But how amazing is it that they are still there for me in my life, calling me, checking up on me, waiting for me, and always willing to listen when I have a problem, or want to share some big news in my life? God, I am so blessed! I think about the magnitude of memories I have collected with these people, memories that come with years, of laughter, arguments and growth, and inevitable change in all of our lives.
Invest in your friendships
As I write this and feel gratitude, I wonder to myself how many people out there don’t have this connection, don’t have friendships? Don’t have people to call on when they are low? My heart feels a little saddened that they don’t know this love or bond that I am so fortunate to share with not just one, but many.
I urge you all to invest in your friendships, make time for them, love and nurture them, because a true friendship takes all that and more. In this day and age of technology, it’s so easy to make ‘friends’ but to have a true friendship means opening up to someone, being vulnerable and allowing that person into your very private space that we reluctantly share with but a few. I do believe you can meet people who you immediately just ‘click’ with and a lifelong friendship can be sparked. But never forget, when it comes to friendships, every day may not always be peaches and cream, and just as when you get a new boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s something you have to want and be willing to work at. You’re not walking into it and making it all about you; you don’t have one fight and call it quits; you are in these people’s lives to give something of yourself, to love and appreciate them, and to have it all in return – remember that.
I’m not too hurt now when people come and go in my life, because I know we all have our own paths to walk, and if it’s a true friendship, time can separate us for an eternity but when we reunite, it’s as if no time has passed at all.