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If you think you’re too small to make a difference, you haven’t spent the night with a mosquito” ~ African Proverb

The very first principle on the eight-limbed yogic path is that of Ahimsa, or non-violence. It seems pretty obvious really: do no harm and you gots yo’self a ticket on the enlightenment express.

As personal spirituality flourishes through a strong yoga and meditation practice, there are many other observances where the non-violent approach is the only way to go.

But then, there are cockroaches, and spiders…and…wait, hold up! Stop the peace train! Surely there should not be mosquitoes on this ride? Surely!?

How the hell does one retain inner purity in the onslaught of these little demons sucking the very life essence out of you?

As I write this I have sustained five mosquito bites! Five! How are you to even maintain a steady stream of thought when having to constantly pause and go into stealth mode as these heartless terrorists attack from all directions? I swear one just bit me through my clothes!

Ahhhhhhh! Om, Om, Om…Bloody hell!

As you can see, I remain in the third dimension, victim to this dark force that surely was not sent here by God.

Mosquitoes.

Is it really possible to be so pure, so full of ahimsa, that you do not harm a mosquito?

I can summon compassion, yes, I do understand that these vile, disease-carrying creatures serve some sort of purpose (although, please educate me as to what that is?); they need to feed, and breed, as is nature of all beings.

Many a blissful meditation has been challenged by the high pitched buzzing in the left ear…now right…now left again…shakes head…it gone…no it’s back…ahh!

Despite my frustration at the seemingly never-ending hum of a mosquito in my ear, sitting in silence, ‘meditating’ a divine mosquito-centric wisdom sometimes channels through me; here are some of my mental attempts to soothe the suffering of being eaten alive:

1. I am a being of light; I have a force field of light around me. So strong am I in the light that these little creatures of blackness cannot penetrate my force field. I am safe in the light…

2. Love the mosquito. I share my abundant flesh with this small being…be happy little skeeters, eat me and be happy…

3. Maybe by killing this poor sad being, I am releasing it from its karmic misery and allowing it to evolve to the next step…Certainly one cannot have worse karma than to become a mosquito? I am doing them a favour…

4. Om-So hum-Om gam ganapataye namaha-Shanti Om, Shanti Om…Om!…(Efforts to focus on mantra versus thoughts of murder).

5. We human beings, are just pawns in reality: the reality of the mosquito. This is their territory; we are naught but mosquito food. Our sole purpose here on Earth is to feed the mosquitoes…

As of now, none of these have brought me any true peace; I am still riddled with mosquito bites. One just bit my knuckle – seriously, as I am typing this, a mosquito lands on my knuckle and feasts… low blow, little spawn of Satan. Low blow.

On a note of upliftment and gratitude, mosquito zapper rackets might as well be magic wands. Oh, the pretty lights as they explode!

I succumb; perhaps I will be forever stuck with the karmic burden of mosquito murder. Eternal bliss…you were so close, but no, f*** this, these ‘squitoes need to die.

I shall pray extra hard for forgiveness after.

If any wise yogis out there have a thought or solution to this conundrum, please enlighten…