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For those of you who missed my first article, “The Do’s of Wedding Planning” my name is Brianne Laurayne and I have been planning events for the last three years. My boyfriend of almost seven years just proposed to me and I now have the ‘joy’ of planning my very own wedding.

Over the last three years I have learnt a lot about how to handle different situations and as I take on the ‘task’ of planning my own wedding, I have to keep in mind all the lessons that I have learnt. I now have to listen to all the ‘great advice’ I have given over the years; this is not as easy as it may sound. But I am trying and thankfully my fiancé is with me every step of the way, keeping me grounded and trying to keep me from going all ‘bridezilla’.

All that being said, here’s Part II of my Do’s and Don’ts of wedding planning. Hopefully they’ll help tame your inner bridezilla, too!

Don’ts

Don’t forget it’s not just your wedding. It’s his, too!

Most of us girls have been dressing up as brides and practising our walk down the aisle since forever. But there is someone else whose opinion is very valuable and should be included in your decisions – your fiancé. Now, some men are happy to let you plan every little detail, but you should still ask him what he thinks and keep him in the loop, without boring him with the minor details of course. Also, by talking to him and getting him to see how important certain details are for you, he can then help you ‘fight’ your battles with his mom.

Don’t procrastinate

As I said in the first article on wedding do’s, you need to do all your homework before you book your vendors – but ‘doh stick!’ The best of the vendors get booked quickly so ensure you get who you want by securing them early. When you request the quote, let them know your wedding date and ask them to please keep you informed of their availability. Also be ready to make a quick decision if they call you and tell you that another bride is asking about your date. If you are not 100% sure, then do not book them! If you are not happy with them or feeling pressured you will most likely carry these feelings onto your wedding day.

Don’t only talk about your wedding

I am personally guilty of this and it is extremely hard to not ‘overdo it’. Yes, you are excited. Yes, it’s all you think about. But keep in mind, the world is still spinning and it’s not around your wedding. Your wedding is not as important to others as it is to you. Not many of your friends care about the style of your invitations or about how hard of a time you are having choosing a bridesmaid dress style. So keep in mind when someone asks “How’s the wedding planning going?”, you do not need to give them every little detail. Sometimes a simple “It’s great” or “It’s fun but so stressful” will do. If they want to know more details they will ask, I promise!

Don’t go bankrupt 

Although I have been coordinating weddings for three years, when I started planning my own I gasped at the costs. I couldn’t believe that one day could add up to so many zeros.

Weddings are not cheap events and the more you want, the higher the cost, because everything adds up! Set a budget and see what the reality truly is. If you want to keep within your budget you may have to sacrifice that fireworks display you saw on Four Weddings that was so spectacular and so perfect for you. There is no need to try to spend your parents’, his parents’ and your own life savings on your wedding day. Make smart decisions and if you want something and can afford it, by all means get it! But remember that there is life after the actual wedding day and you will need money to live, so don’t spend it all on one day.

Don’t go on your honeymoon the very next day

After months and months of planning, your wedding is over in the blink of an eye. Do you really want to fly out the very next day? The day after your wedding you will most likely be exhausted, not to mention hungover…is a long flight the best idea? Not really.

The day after is the first day that you can just relax and talk about how great the wedding was and hear all the stories about ‘Uncle Frank’ taking shots with your bridesmaids or about who went home with whom. So take a day to regroup and relax with your family and close friends. Invite them by your parents for some leftover food or a casual BBQ and laugh about all the crazy antics that you didn’t even know happened.

These are just a few ‘Don’ts’ that I have learnt, because with every event I learn a new lesson. I try to pass on these tips to all of my couples and even their parents but remember your wedding day is just one day of your life. You are starting a new chapter with your husband and after the excitement dies down it’s going to be just the two of you. An unknown author once said “I want a marriage more beautiful than my wedding” and I couldn’t agree more.